Her

I think about her all the time. her moves, her hair, her face her lines, divinity in motion. I feel moved by the essence of her presence. I see her only twice a week which is barely enough. I look at her time in time out and I simply can't seem to find the words. I want to talk to her with all my might and i wish it was that simple. Gosh she is so beautiful so devine. I wish I can just walk up to her and say, "Baby, I been eyeing for a while and I gotta say you are so beautiful mami, so sexy, I mean look at you girl you look soooo beautiful. So I'm sayin' if you interested and you don't have a man I wanna know if we can get to know each other and see what's good with me and you. What do you say?" If only I really had the courage to just go up to her and ask her. I can't help but think of her saying " Sorry but I have a boyfriend" or "sorry your cool and everything but I don't really like you like that/I don't really want a boyfriend now because I just went through a bad break-up" I just can't help but think one of those 3 outcomes will occur. It's so hard to think positive in these situations. I don't know exactly if it's my self-esteem, my confidence, or just pure negativity. I'm not exactly sure of what it is but I want it to end. I want to finally go up to her and hopefully get the answer I want to happen. She deserves a good man, to be with me. I'm tired of the bullshit and lonliness I been feeling since my last break-up. I want something new, something exciting, and be with a woman I like and vice-versa. I want it to mean something without any fake shit. I just gotta try....... I really gotta try my best and hope for the best. I just gotta try my best. No matter what the odds are. I would rather go up to her and ask her what's good if she single then asking her out while in a relationship because then I would be left clueless, I wouldn't know for sure if she likes me if she's in a relationship. So it wouldn't be so heartbreaking but actually would be heartbreaking. Hmmmm I'm gonna try.... I'm gonna ask her on the day I return to my school. I just pray that she is single and remains single to the day we return so I can make my move and change her status to "In A Relationship" with me that is. Well here it goes..... (TO BE CONTINUED)