Thankful all the time? Or Just today?

Thanksgiving is a day where most people celebrate to give thanks for their blessings and for the People/things they have in their lives. Its a special Occasion where family/friends come together for the same common purpose. I wonder though..Is it the food that makes people really happy? lol. The seduction of the food is what brings us together?? lol Personally, I'm a happy camper when a bunch of my favorite foods are made in one day lol. But I am truely thankful for everything I have and considering my current status, I really don't have it bad. My situation could be worse? The whole basis of my argument is why do we choose to make one day out of the year to give thanks to what we have. Why can't there be a day where a family members calls the rest of the fam to come by for a get together and give thanks? I have quite a few people in my life that I am truely thankful to have.

Order in the Court!!

ALL RISE!!! THE HONORABLE JUDGE, EDWIN WESTBROOK PRESIDING.... You may be seated. Thank you. As I been saying before and over and over and over again, I've been saying that I am writing a book about a NYPD detective and his partner solving a big case. You've seen me complain on Facebook that I've been stuck and unable to conjure up an idea blah blah etc. Anyway I felt that the only way to really make my book epic, I would have to experience the vibe, essence, and atmosphere of an actual courtroom. If im not mistaken it was the 12th of November and I decided to go to the courtroom on that Friday. My Law professor gave me the address 360 Adams Street. I entered the building, I tried observing what I had to do while at the scanner instead of asking to spare time. I emptied my pockets and placed my bag, jacket, and Fitted Cap in the box to be scanned. I asked the Officer for directory assistance as to what Floor I can observe a Criminal Trial. As to my surprise, the kind Officer explained that Criminal Term is on 320 Jay Street. I was directed to the building and as I approached the building I have to say I was starstruck. I don't know why I just loved the way the building looked. So I looked at it and there were two sections, "Family Court" and "Supreme Court". As I entered, I went on the line and I didnt get the little grey box I was supposed to get to put the items in my items in my pocket in, so unfortunately I had to go out the line and retrieve one. I entered the scanner repeated the same process and I went straight to the Court Officer at the desk and asked for directory for an on-going Criminal Trail. He explained that floors 2-4, and floors 15-21 would have trials occuring. Entering the 2nd floor, I looked around and went into "Ceremonial 2". Inside I saw people sitting in the gallery, I saw the prosecutors and the defense lawyer sitting and talking to each other. I sat down anticipating the trial to begin. I sat for a while watching court officers standing around, I saw a court officer talking to who I'm guessing was the judge's clerk. She was looking at her phone with the court officer and her laughing at whatever they were looking at. So funny because the rules say No cell Phones are allowed to be on in the court room. I guess they are allowed to break the rules of the court room since they work there. So I sat there just sitting back, I sat for about 20 to 25 minutes and nothing yet. So I decided to check other Court rooms to see if there were any trials actually ongoing. I went to the 4th floor if im not mistaken, and I entered the courtroom. I assume that it was a pre-trial motion, or just a hearing to decide when the trial was going to commence. The Defendant was in another room and communicated with the court via TV connection. The Judge ruled that the trial will occur on January 7th. After the meeting was over Family members of the victims were yelling out of emotion at the Defendant and crying out stating "I hope you get yours!" "I hope yo ass rots in prison motherfucker." I wasn't laughing at the statements but I cracked a smile at the statement because now it gave me some ideas of what type of crime will occur in my book and I got a feel of the emotion that woman went through. In short, to make the drama of the book more interesting. Anyway, I went back to Ceremonial 2 to see if anything was going on. Of course people were on their phones texting and the court officer actually started to notice it. He yelled across the court stating the rules of how all phones must be turned off and the woman got an attitude so a little mini-dramatic moment occurred. Of course the officer knew it was her phone that went off and she denied it stating that it wasn't her phone that went off. I sensed the officer knew what kind of person he was dealing with and just ended the saga with "All cell phones must be turned off" she turned off her phone and that was that. So I heard the officer signal to allow the jury into the court and got really excited. I sat back and watched them enter, and then the judge entered and sat down. The case was People v. Robert Crawford. The Defendant himself was brought in shortly afterward handcuffed and had 3 male and one female court officer sitting right behind him. They were watching him like a hawk. Sadly I do not know exactly what the charge was, all I know is that testimony was read back to the jury and the testimony was by a T-Mobile Representative who is an expert in how calls were made, the process of the billing, etc. The rep. explained the relative position the defendant could've been at while making calls, the number in question belonged to the defendant, etc. So after about 45 minutes passed and all the testimony was read back the Jury was sent back to finish deliberating their verdict. Unfortunately I didn't stick around to see what the verdict was, nor do I know for sure if the jury actually did finish deliberating on that same day. I'm sure they did finish and wether the defendant was convicted or acquitted is unknown to me. I wonder if they did convict him. Next time I go I will definetly make an inquiry on the details of the case. I did enjoy the experience for what it's worth. I do look foward to going back again sometime.

Have you ever...

About 2 months ago the Fall 2010 semester for John Jay College was just beginning and I met some nice people (at face value). And I would be lying if I told yuh I wasn't keeping my eye out for the women I see in John Jay. Now I been rejected by women in my life, (Then again who hasn't been rejected lol)but I gotta say, I never been rejected the way that I was last month. I met this gorgeous woman in one of my classes and I just liked what I saw. Yes it was sexual but also genuine liking for this one girl in particular. About 5'6 Blond hair, beautiful figure, cute face, and she has a lovely name. I will not reveal the name because I respect everyone's right to privacy. Anyways been contemplating on talking to her and stalled alot. I had so many opportunities to talk to her but I choked each time. Then I decided to tell her and I got the only response that left me in suspense. The meaning is probly clear to others and myself but I guess because it was so new to me that it left me dumbfounded. I told her I had a crush on her and her response was...DRUMROLL PLEASE............."I don't Know What To Tell You..." whomp whomp whomp, I tell yuh I was stuck on stupid when I got that response. I tell yuh I never ever gotten that before. I normally got a normal response either it was "no", "I see you as a friend", "I like you too but I have a bf" But this was new and I didnt know how to respond to it. It's kinda embarassing to say it but it's me so i guess anything is possible. Any ideas on what the response means in "English" if you will.

Heaven

It's been hell not having cable for the 2-3 week period it was gone. It brought me great satisfaction when it was put in my room instead of its original place in my living room. I used to have cable in my room back in like 2006 or 2007 not exactly sure, but now I get to watch my tv shows while I eat in peace. I can do more of this and less turning on my laptop and watching a dvd while I eat. Now I will have something to do when im bored out of my mind. This is Heaven. =)

Character Flaw?? Or Mere Opinion??

Alright it's been a while since my last blog post Thanks for the welcome back (CLAPPING AND CHEERING)Thank you! Thank You! Thank You! I've changed my attitude and decided to go to the gym every week and workout to get in shape and lose weight.

Now I am just an average guy who loves to hang with friends, have fun, make people laugh, make money etc. I been complimented by many people. I been told im cool, down to earth, funny, open-minded, a sweetheart. And thats something I enjoy hearing from others because it makes me feel good. But something I just don't understand. With all these great character traits, I been called a "Lame" by quite a few people. I don't understand how I could be cool, funny,and lame at the same time. I see myself as a cool individual. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I'm not hanging out outside in front of my building or on the street corner getting drunk and smoking Marijuana. Im in school, I am a fairly intelligent guy. The definition of Lame is weak, ineffectual. Yet quite a few people have labeled me a lame. Some people need to look in the mirror and take a look at themselves before criticizing another person. I will tell you something. The definition of cool is me. Someone who doesnt change their ways because your own image doesnt satisfy or live up to the standards of another. I am simply being myself. I am very laid back, love to be sarcastic, or "Witty" as my good Friend (Who will remain nameless for Privacy reasons)calls it. I love to make people laugh. I love to seek motivation from others. I am a very good hearted person and willing to help people in need. I am an open-minded, straight foward person who is going to graduate from John Jay and become the best damn Police Officer in the New York City Police Department. THAT IS COOL.

Love’s Rejections

"Love's Rejections"

I was only 12, and I felt my heart beats. I saw her; I was in love, standing feet to feet. Beautiful, sexy eyes, luscious lips, there she stood. I paused, eyes in the air, saying "Damn she lookin' good" I said "Hey darling, how are you? What is your name? She said "Hi, (giggling) said I'm fine, my name is Serenity. We talked, lots of flirting, and I decided to ask her out. She stood paused for a minute, said I'm sorry, but I like you as a friend".

I was then 14, 2nd year in high school. I saw her; I was in love, standing feet to feet. There she was, beautiful brown eyes, went so right along with her nice sexy thighs. I approached, nervous, sweaty palms, heart pumping hard, said hey, what's your name? She said Hi, beautiful smile, teeth shine, said my name's Janet. I told her I don't do this Normally, I am kind of shy. But I think you're beautiful, I'm feeling you, and I would like to take you out sometime." She smiled, said "I'm sorry, but I see you as just a friend".

I turned 16, my 3rd year in high school. I saw her; I was in love, standing feet to feet. There she stood, long black hair, beautiful body, room brightens when she smiled. I couldn't resist, I couldn't resist, and I went the extra mile. I said hey pretty young thing, may I ask what your name is? She giggled; face turned red, and said "my name is Julissa". I said "babe, I don't do this normally, I am kind of shy, but I think you are beautiful, and I can't help but ask, will you be mine?" She laughed and smiled, said "I think you're a cutie, but you been a great friend to me, and I want to be your friend, I'm sorry", and walked away.

My confidence ran out, I felt hopeless in a world of beautiful women I just can't seem to have. My world turned upside down, I just don't understand. What is it that Women don't like about me? I take a shower every day, I am a gentlemen when need be. Am I not good enough to have a Woman? Am I too good for woman? All the girls that ever rejected me, I see them with the bummiest looking dudes I have ever seen in my life. Some even stink as if they don't take showers. I just don't understand the message that is sent to me here. Is it that I have to just ask them out first, and then be their friend, or do girls just do not like me? I feel so alone, so depressed. These are love's rejections for me. Will I ever find "Her", or is it just one big fairytale?

Her

I think about her all the time. her moves, her hair, her face her lines, divinity in motion. I feel moved by the essence of her presence. I see her only twice a week which is barely enough. I look at her time in time out and I simply can't seem to find the words. I want to talk to her with all my might and i wish it was that simple. Gosh she is so beautiful so devine. I wish I can just walk up to her and say, "Baby, I been eyeing for a while and I gotta say you are so beautiful mami, so sexy, I mean look at you girl you look soooo beautiful. So I'm sayin' if you interested and you don't have a man I wanna know if we can get to know each other and see what's good with me and you. What do you say?" If only I really had the courage to just go up to her and ask her. I can't help but think of her saying " Sorry but I have a boyfriend" or "sorry your cool and everything but I don't really like you like that/I don't really want a boyfriend now because I just went through a bad break-up" I just can't help but think one of those 3 outcomes will occur. It's so hard to think positive in these situations. I don't know exactly if it's my self-esteem, my confidence, or just pure negativity. I'm not exactly sure of what it is but I want it to end. I want to finally go up to her and hopefully get the answer I want to happen. She deserves a good man, to be with me. I'm tired of the bullshit and lonliness I been feeling since my last break-up. I want something new, something exciting, and be with a woman I like and vice-versa. I want it to mean something without any fake shit. I just gotta try....... I really gotta try my best and hope for the best. I just gotta try my best. No matter what the odds are. I would rather go up to her and ask her what's good if she single then asking her out while in a relationship because then I would be left clueless, I wouldn't know for sure if she likes me if she's in a relationship. So it wouldn't be so heartbreaking but actually would be heartbreaking. Hmmmm I'm gonna try.... I'm gonna ask her on the day I return to my school. I just pray that she is single and remains single to the day we return so I can make my move and change her status to "In A Relationship" with me that is. Well here it goes..... (TO BE CONTINUED)